May 2013
cybercitrus:
People that think they are going to be magically independent when they become 18.
satans-fabulous-blog:
morphingly:
brightredkettle:
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
awesomephilia:
everyday-awkward:
I had a sign in my room that said “laugh” but the ‘L’ and the ‘A’ fell off and now it only says “ugh” and thats just perfect
blazedmostdays:
my life is a constant struggle
between being lonely
and wanting to be left alone
unclefather:
things people have yelled in a bath and body works store:
“what the fuck is a eucalyptus”
“this smells like my grandma”
“what the fuck does “wood” smell like”
“this is bullshit i’m going home”
drunktrophywife:
I don’t share my food or my feelings
meladoodle:
i want my wedding vows to be an intense rap battle with my spouse-to-be
cokeflow:
“I’m on my way!” I say as I remain naked in bed
mrscalypsojackson:
I HATE WHEN YOU TRY TO SHARPEN A PENCIL AND IT DOES THE THING
iwishihadafather:
if we go out we can
hold hands
aww yeah
cuddle under like 2 blankets wow
watch scary movies
kiss mouths
touch butts
ihop
????????
yeeeeaaahhhh
cowboybeboop:
i wanna quit my job„„„„,right now„„„„before my shift starts in 2 hours
Watchea5e95:
sailorkunt:
HELP
LOL
Anonymous asked: I can't believe I lost a bunch of weight using the TUMBLR DIET!!! Are u using this too? Tumblr won't let me post links but check it out at TwitterHealthDiet[d0t]com
primisthebomb:
you’ve got your olive oil
virgin olive oil
extra virgin olive oil
olive oil with a questionable past
1 tag
Remembering I have to go to work in the morning
br000t:
most beautiful intro i have ever heard...
Francine: *distressed* Stan! Hayley's been shot!
Stan: So what? You've shot me before, I've shot you a couple times.. Everybody shoots everybody- it's how we communicate in this family.
Francine: Alright.. I'll... tell her you asked about her.
Stan: You tell her whatever you want, but that's not how it went down.
iwishihadafather:
when you’re typing “good morning” and you accidentally type “hood morning”