cybercitrus: People that think they are going to be magically independent when they become 18.
satans-fabulous-blog: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
awesomephilia: everyday-awkward: I had a sign in my room that said “laugh” but the ‘L’ and the ‘A’ fell off and now it only says “ugh” and thats just perfect
blazedmostdays: my life is a constant struggle between being lonely and wanting to be left alone
unclefather: things people have yelled in a bath and body works store: “what the fuck is a eucalyptus” “this smells like my grandma” “what the fuck does “wood” smell like” “this is bullshit i’m going home”
drunktrophywife: I don’t share my food or my feelings
meladoodle: i want my wedding vows to be an intense rap battle with my spouse-to-be
cokeflow: “I’m on my way!” I say as I remain naked in bed
mrscalypsojackson: I HATE WHEN YOU TRY TO SHARPEN A PENCIL AND IT DOES THE THING
iwishihadafather: if we go out we can hold hands aww yeah cuddle under like 2 blankets wow watch scary movies kiss mouths touch butts ihop ???????? yeeeeaaahhhh
cowboybeboop: i wanna quit my job„„„„,right now„„„„before my shift starts in 2 hours
ea5e95: sailorkunt: HELP LOL
Anonymous asked: I can't believe I lost a bunch of weight using the TUMBLR DIET!!! Are u using this too? Tumblr won't let me post links but check it out at TwitterHealthDiet[d0t]com
primisthebomb: you’ve got your olive oil virgin olive oil extra virgin olive oil olive oil with a questionable past
Remembering I have to go to work in the morning
br000t: most beautiful intro i have ever heard...
Francine: *distressed* Stan! Hayley's been shot!
Stan: So what? You've shot me before, I've shot you a couple times.. Everybody shoots everybody- it's how we communicate in this family.
Francine: Alright.. I'll... tell her you asked about her.
Stan: You tell her whatever you want, but that's not how it went down.
iwishihadafather: when you’re typing “good morning” and you accidentally type “hood morning”